Mud-Wrestling With Bob McBoint (but not The Batman)

My dears my dears, what a thrillingly messy few days I have had, filled with mud, groping, and personal revelation! For my psychic haggis hat was correct and I was able to fulfil the wishes of both FunkyFreddy Republic and Yasmin Cao by starring in a mud-wrestling contest at sun-baked Solace Beach.

I am delighted to announce that I beat all comers except for Kalli Birman and Bowie Zeplin, and no, I did not let them win because I love them. I simply acknowledge their greater experience in the arena of mud-wrestling, something I had never thought to delve into before Freddy's announcement. Since I successfully wrestled down FunkyFreddy, Tamra Hayden, Ayesha Lytton, and Quentin Crispy, my self-esteem remains intact. (I did in fact beat Ms Zeplin on our first round, but only because she wasted time writing a rather excitingly sexy roleplay of our fight instead of pounding away at me like a xxxxxxxx with a xxxxxx xxxxx.)

Second Life makes dreams come true as FunkyFreddy provides music for a virtual mud-wrestling match.

 Bowie Victorious!

Ayesha Lytton and Bowie Zeplin make even more of FunkyFreddy's dreams come true.

Yes, for two nights in a row, I (and others) rolled and struggled and thrashed and pounded in a mud pit in a venue shaped like a vast guitar, whilst FunkyFreddy Republic sent us into the stratosphere strumming his instrument.

And, I met The Batman! (Not just any Batman - THE goddamn Batman.) He chose to remain aloof; I suspect he found the proceedings beneath his dignity as a valiant fighter of crime. I resisted the urge to put on a Joker face because, and I will only confess this to you because I've already had an early evening tipple 'n' a toke, I'm a little afraid of the Batman. Though I do reckon he's probably wickedly kinky.

The Batman didn't want to get his suit all muddy. Y SO SRS??

I was further honoured when Kalli, aka Brandy, invited me to be interviewed for a new series on her blog, on the beautiful and peculiar individuals one can be lucky enough to run away from across on Second Life. To be entirely honest I was a touch nervous at the thought of being interviewed, but Kalli put me at my ease with her ready flattery, large deep eyes, and sexy legs.

Says Kalli of Bob: "She has a charm and wit that is matched by none and an amazing sense of style."

You must of course read her penetrating interview with me at once. Now. Go on with you!

No, really, buzz off and read it!

Funky Freddy and the Mud-Wrestlers from Mars

Ahoy m' hearties! Having been struck by a severe but thankfully non-fatal attack of "real life", I now return to you with tales not involving anything remotely related to artichokes. (Trust me and ask no further.)

The eternal question of all late night sing-a-longs must surely be that age-old issue of precisely what to do with the drunken sailor, and tonight I feel certain that the best suggestion must surely involve aliens and mud-wrestling matches, for this is what has been predicted by my psychoastrologist following my rendition of last week's events, and a careful examination of my liver spots in conjuction with the planets.

That, and it is FunkyFreddy Republic's Rezz Day and RL Birthday party, and amongst the extraordinary revelations of his concert with the lovely Tamra Hayden last week was his professed desire to provide live music for a mud-wrestling match. Why people insist on telling me about their strange sexual perversions, I really do not wish to imagine!

Yasmin (yasmin.cao): <--Wants to see a live mud wrestling match with Bob in it!
Funkyfreddy Republic: i'd like to provide music for a virtual mud wrestling match

To tell you the truth, I'm beginning to suspect that Freddy has something of a crush upon your humble Bobster. Earlier in the evening, he declared me hotter than his manager, the notorious SL glamourpuss, venue owner, and no-shit-taker Ayesha Lytton. Of course he then claimed that he had misread the chat and was in fact declaring me more beautiful than someone who you'd do best to picture as a more blonde, less charming and intelligent version of Sarah Palin, but his later questioning about my sexual preferences belies the truth, say I.

HOT OR NOT? Ayesha Lytton, Tamra Hayden, Stephen Fryingpan, FunkyFreddy Republic, and Bob McBoint.

All this was witnessed by Ms Lytton, Ms Hayden, and a very small and extremely funny alien named StephenFryingpan, who I suspect from his wish to find an SL girlfriend is not the British broadcaster of similar namitude. Luckily we were at Solace Beach, a venue where the sky is blue and all the leaves are green, the women living is easy, and the bizarre alien lifeforms are welcomed with pleasingly open arms.

I also met a chap called Mercury Barnes, who declared "Bob, you are just odd. That's not good or bad, but it is a true fact. :)"

What a charming and sophisticated fellow!

Freddy's birthday bash is set to begin at 6 pm SLT on this 25th day of January stardate 2012, at Solace Beach. Be there or fail to be regarded as sufficiently oblong in longitude.

To give the last word, for now, to Mr StephenFryingpan: "WE have a saying in space: Guzzizk blatkula deszizztzzzkxckfs."