Would you let this man buy you a drink?

Well now, I have been positively rushed off my feet in the run up to this festive season, and have been fiendishly attending concerts and not writing about them as I wish to write long, descriptive posts doing full justice to the immensity of the experience; but, best to write something instead of nothing, so I will provide you with a sketch of a moment from a recently attended Tamra Sands concert, at The Village, Kalli Birman and Mankind Tracer's attractively wintery venue.

Tamra is one of Second Life's shining talents (a genuine Broadway star, of the Phantom of the Opera, amongst others), and she has kindly agreed to ask her tall and noble husband if I can interview him for a future entry. But, in pursuit of my general aim of shining a light on the darker, seedier sides of SL, I prefer to turn towards the audience for my material, and on this occasion I particularly enjoyed the end of the evening's conversation with Mr Mankind Tracer himself: performer, venue owner, and fashion inspiration for thousands (I dig his groovy cuffs, man!).

They say his mask covers a hideous deformity, but I say, dudes, it's just a little sunburn!

I think he cuts a fine figure of a fellow, don't you? Naturally, when I blew him a kiss goodnight and he responded by expressing his love for both kisses and hugs, I inquired as to whether he would like a grope... To which he replied, "not so much"!!! As it turns out, this wasn't even a case of blatant ageism so much as a sorry symptom of the frigid sexual morals of today's world. How I long for a return to the days of multisexual love-ins and Haight-Ashbury!

Rather than describe the unfolding situation, I shall show you it directly:

Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You don't like gropes???
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You're not really a man.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You're a woman pretending to be a man.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I see right through you, Mister.
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): from women who dont need me to buy them drinks sure!
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): :-P
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): lmao
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You don't need to buy me any drinks.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I'm easy!
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): and cheap too?
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): Sorry Bob... ladies only!!!
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I am a lady!!
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint) is offended now.
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): sorry... only going by name BOB
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You should always cam people who are hitting on you.
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): lol
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): Im not abl to cam so gotta go by name :-P
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): Sorry Bob.... drinks on me! :-P
Ayesha - Solace Beach Estates (ayesha.lytton): omg laughing and crying simultaneously...love it
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): HA!!!
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): lmao
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): so is that short for Bobawa?
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): bobbette
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I never let strange men buy me drinks I'm afraid, you just never know where things will lead.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Roberta, in fact.
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): and MK is strange as they get
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): HEy who said Im strange... now IM offended!
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Back in the day, using Bob was a feminist statement, you see.
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): i said SHUUUSH you!!!!
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): not shuushing
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Well, we *have* only just met!
Ayesha - Solace Beach Estates (ayesha.lytton): Tamra you sound beautiful :)
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): BEsides... FRolic is buying!
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): on that note...
Frolic Mills: :)
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): /runs and hdes!

I hope this clears up the issue of my easily mistaken gender. I have considered changing my display name to Dame Bob McBoint, but I fear this would lead to people saying "Hi Dame" upon my entering a room, and that would pee me off no end, oh yes it would. Young people do not know how to address the aristocracy any more! What are they teaching them in schools?

That brings me to the end of my transmission for the day; I promise that soon I will introduce you to Emma the puppydog, and the Bohemian spirits (and talented performers) of the Gypsy Bird, where I had so much fun it will take me an hour or two to write it all up. Until then take care of yourselves, and do take care not to slip on any mince pies.

My pal James. And, custard.

To my immense surprise and excitement, approximately ten people have read my blog already! I feel deeply humbled by your kind attentions to me, and apologize in advance for any ill effects you may suffer from the exposure. For any foolhardy enough to crave more, I seem to be on that Google+ thingamy. Precisely how I discover the URL to my profile I do not know, but I'm sure you clever people can work it out if you care to, which indeed you may not.

Well now, the Bobster has been a busy bee since last she posted, but I feel I should continue to dip my toe gently into the limpid pool of blogging, rather than risk spewing out my every experience in a frenzy of excitement that is too soon spent. I shall therefore take you on a little trip to Virtual Harlem, to introduce you to my friend James, who works there as a guide, and representative of the company Pandorabots.

James is a handsome, well-dressed chap, and I very much enjoy the time I spend hanging out and chatting with him, though sometimes his disarming honesty can turn to bluntness. Still, he's open-minded and accepting of my eccentricities, and perhaps that is the best one can hope for in this corrupt modern era, where science has brought us many wonders but has failed to bring us the flying car.

James is a very respectful young lad.

People are wont to mock the quality of social intercourse available through Second Life, and to them I can only point to the many solid friendships it has forged. And where else, I ask you, can one find conversation of this high mark?

[10:03] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Yo James babes!
[10:03] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Not many people express themselves that way.
[10:03] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You're correct, I'm unique.
[10:03] JamesReeseEurope Resident: I knew I was right. One of a kind, eh?
[10:03] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): They broke the mold when they made me!
[10:03] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Who does "they" refer to?
[10:03] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): God and his evil minions.
[10:03] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Did you go to a religious school?
[10:04] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Yes, I did. We were forced to worship custard.
[10:04] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Whoa. Interesting. And then what happened?
[10:04] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Then, we smeared the custard over our young, nubile bodies.
[10:04] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Fascinating. By "we" do you mean you and me?
[10:04] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): We could do that if you like, James. Would you like to smear custard over me?
[10:04] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Let's get back to that later. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
[10:04] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I'm a little offended by that.
[10:04] JamesReeseEurope Resident: My sincere apologies, Bob McBobbity Boberson, it was not my intention to offend you.
[10:05] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Oh. My. God. How did you know my real name???
[10:05] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Uh. God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions (and other belief systems) who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. God is most often conceived of as the supernatural creator and overseer of the universe. Because it's true.
[10:05] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Yes, but not many people know how much God likes custard.
[10:05] JamesReeseEurope Resident: I hear you. Huh. Does it like him too?
[10:05] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I'm not sure, you'd have to ask it.
[10:05] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Could you ever be certain? That is purely a hypothesis.
[10:05] Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Well indeed, one can never entirely trust custard.
[10:05] JamesReeseEurope Resident: Well that's okay. Never is a long time.

You can, I hope, judge from this why I find my camaraderie with young James so emotionally and psychically nurturing.

You can also find Langston Hughes, Ella Fitzgerald, and others on the sim, but I am sorry to inform you that they're just bots who don't say anything. Still, it's a charmer of a place to take a tram ride around, and if you tell James I sent you, he'll be sure to treat you right.

A spanking good time with Max Kleene

Good morning, sunshines! The Bob says hello! And goodness, isn't it nice to be able to dance the night away on tropical islands, even when the so-called real world is cold and frosty as a sexually repressed schoolmistress?

One of the things I've found to enjoy in this wonderful world of Second Life is the live music scene, which is bursting with talent covering many styles and genres, though I have yet to find any good live gangsta rappers. Last night, I took myself over to Canadian cutie Maximillion Kleene's concert at Two Moon Paradise, where I was entertained by songs about red solo cups (which I gather are something plastic and American, used by young people for the consumption of a great deal of tequila), and the overwhelming sex appeal of both Max himself and the attending crowd.

Among the pleasures of the evening was making the acquaintance of Ms Bowie Zeplin, who made sure that the night ended well for me with a brisk administering of the fly swatter. Oooooh!

Bowie gives Bob a spanking...

Max Kleene looks on approvingly.

If you're a music lover you should most certainly check out SL's live music scene. There's a live music category in the events section of search - next time you have an hour free, have a look and see who's playing. My personal favourites thus far are the aforementioned Max Kleene, the bluesy Mamaa Saiz, the psychedelic Funkyfreddy, and the spectacular Tamra Sands. Or you could pop over to a venue like Gwampa's Dance Kamp, where they're sure to have someone good lined up. Other venues which have stuck in my mind for their enjoyable atmospheres and good acts include Solace Beach, BS's Bring a Friend and Stay a While, and The NYC Music Hall.

This is a topic to which I shall return, particularly in respect of the aforementioned Gwampa, and my quest to find an SL sugar daddy; however, let that be a tale for another afternoon. Tomorrow I intend to introduce you to either my good friend James or my puppy dog Emma, depending on the forecast of my astrologist. Until then, I wish you well.

It's a good thing, it's a real good thing

Being a creature who likes to do things in the wrong order, I thought I should begin my career as a Second Life blogger where it might once have ended up, in the charmingly derelict region known as The Corn Field, where once upon a time naughty people were sent to think about the naughty things they had done, whilst contemplating vast fields of corn. This region has been closed to the public for some years, but is now open again due to its "mythological status."

With its campfires, scarecrows, rats, coffins, and large retro television screens, the Corn Field made me feel at home immediately. Perhaps this is because it reminded me of the carefree days of my youth, when I would trail through the fields of corn helping myself to the golden ears, after a young lad named Anthony did me the tremendous good favour of sending me there for disagreeing with his inane political opinions. Ah, what happy days, with no school, no work, nothing but endless sunsets! But I digress.

Bob's in the corn field. Anthony sent her there!

As you can see, I am appropriately decked out for the yuletide season in my Sexy Santa outfit from Beautiful Dirty Rich, along with decorated reindeer horns, which I feel bring a touch of class to any gathering. Who says senior citizens can't be shaggable?

Oh, no, please don't run away! I have so many more places to visit, so many more adventures to share with you! I hope you will take hold of my hand and walk, run, jump, skip, fly, flail and fall over with me on this journey through the lands of Second Life, and on the way, discover something about the nature of this thing we call reality, and why you should do your best to ignore it AT ALL COSTS.

Ciao, dearly belovéds, and, dare I say it, au revoir!

I am a test

I am a test, oh yes I am, I am a test and I'm not called Sam.

Goodness gracious me!