Mud-Wrestling With Bob McBoint (but not The Batman)

My dears my dears, what a thrillingly messy few days I have had, filled with mud, groping, and personal revelation! For my psychic haggis hat was correct and I was able to fulfil the wishes of both FunkyFreddy Republic and Yasmin Cao by starring in a mud-wrestling contest at sun-baked Solace Beach.

I am delighted to announce that I beat all comers except for Kalli Birman and Bowie Zeplin, and no, I did not let them win because I love them. I simply acknowledge their greater experience in the arena of mud-wrestling, something I had never thought to delve into before Freddy's announcement. Since I successfully wrestled down FunkyFreddy, Tamra Hayden, Ayesha Lytton, and Quentin Crispy, my self-esteem remains intact. (I did in fact beat Ms Zeplin on our first round, but only because she wasted time writing a rather excitingly sexy roleplay of our fight instead of pounding away at me like a xxxxxxxx with a xxxxxx xxxxx.)

Second Life makes dreams come true as FunkyFreddy provides music for a virtual mud-wrestling match.

 Bowie Victorious!

Ayesha Lytton and Bowie Zeplin make even more of FunkyFreddy's dreams come true.

Yes, for two nights in a row, I (and others) rolled and struggled and thrashed and pounded in a mud pit in a venue shaped like a vast guitar, whilst FunkyFreddy Republic sent us into the stratosphere strumming his instrument.

And, I met The Batman! (Not just any Batman - THE goddamn Batman.) He chose to remain aloof; I suspect he found the proceedings beneath his dignity as a valiant fighter of crime. I resisted the urge to put on a Joker face because, and I will only confess this to you because I've already had an early evening tipple 'n' a toke, I'm a little afraid of the Batman. Though I do reckon he's probably wickedly kinky.

The Batman didn't want to get his suit all muddy. Y SO SRS??

I was further honoured when Kalli, aka Brandy, invited me to be interviewed for a new series on her blog, on the beautiful and peculiar individuals one can be lucky enough to run away from across on Second Life. To be entirely honest I was a touch nervous at the thought of being interviewed, but Kalli put me at my ease with her ready flattery, large deep eyes, and sexy legs.

Says Kalli of Bob: "She has a charm and wit that is matched by none and an amazing sense of style."

You must of course read her penetrating interview with me at once. Now. Go on with you!

No, really, buzz off and read it!

Would you let this man buy you a drink?

Well now, I have been positively rushed off my feet in the run up to this festive season, and have been fiendishly attending concerts and not writing about them as I wish to write long, descriptive posts doing full justice to the immensity of the experience; but, best to write something instead of nothing, so I will provide you with a sketch of a moment from a recently attended Tamra Sands concert, at The Village, Kalli Birman and Mankind Tracer's attractively wintery venue.

Tamra is one of Second Life's shining talents (a genuine Broadway star, of the Phantom of the Opera, amongst others), and she has kindly agreed to ask her tall and noble husband if I can interview him for a future entry. But, in pursuit of my general aim of shining a light on the darker, seedier sides of SL, I prefer to turn towards the audience for my material, and on this occasion I particularly enjoyed the end of the evening's conversation with Mr Mankind Tracer himself: performer, venue owner, and fashion inspiration for thousands (I dig his groovy cuffs, man!).

They say his mask covers a hideous deformity, but I say, dudes, it's just a little sunburn!

I think he cuts a fine figure of a fellow, don't you? Naturally, when I blew him a kiss goodnight and he responded by expressing his love for both kisses and hugs, I inquired as to whether he would like a grope... To which he replied, "not so much"!!! As it turns out, this wasn't even a case of blatant ageism so much as a sorry symptom of the frigid sexual morals of today's world. How I long for a return to the days of multisexual love-ins and Haight-Ashbury!

Rather than describe the unfolding situation, I shall show you it directly:

Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You don't like gropes???
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You're not really a man.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You're a woman pretending to be a man.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I see right through you, Mister.
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): from women who dont need me to buy them drinks sure!
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): :-P
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): lmao
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You don't need to buy me any drinks.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I'm easy!
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): and cheap too?
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): Sorry Bob... ladies only!!!
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I am a lady!!
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint) is offended now.
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): sorry... only going by name BOB
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): You should always cam people who are hitting on you.
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): lol
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): Im not abl to cam so gotta go by name :-P
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): Sorry Bob.... drinks on me! :-P
Ayesha - Solace Beach Estates (ayesha.lytton): omg laughing and crying simultaneously...love it
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): HA!!!
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): lmao
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): so is that short for Bobawa?
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): bobbette
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): I never let strange men buy me drinks I'm afraid, you just never know where things will lead.
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Roberta, in fact.
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): and MK is strange as they get
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): HEy who said Im strange... now IM offended!
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Back in the day, using Bob was a feminist statement, you see.
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): i said SHUUUSH you!!!!
Kalli Birman - aka Brandy (kalli.birman): not shuushing
Bob McBoint (bobmcboint): Well, we *have* only just met!
Ayesha - Solace Beach Estates (ayesha.lytton): Tamra you sound beautiful :)
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): BEsides... FRolic is buying!
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): on that note...
Frolic Mills: :)
Mankind Tracer - Seth Regan (mankind.tracer): /runs and hdes!

I hope this clears up the issue of my easily mistaken gender. I have considered changing my display name to Dame Bob McBoint, but I fear this would lead to people saying "Hi Dame" upon my entering a room, and that would pee me off no end, oh yes it would. Young people do not know how to address the aristocracy any more! What are they teaching them in schools?

That brings me to the end of my transmission for the day; I promise that soon I will introduce you to Emma the puppydog, and the Bohemian spirits (and talented performers) of the Gypsy Bird, where I had so much fun it will take me an hour or two to write it all up. Until then take care of yourselves, and do take care not to slip on any mince pies.